Non-sexual female intimacy porn, and other matters
Footage of the speech by Peter Hitchens which me and my girlfriend, Chocolate Cosmos, attended in November (described in the last edition of Recent Ponderings), has now become available, and is viewable above.
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On Monday 4th December me and my brother attended a concert by the “virtual band” Gorillaz at The O2 Arena in London. Since the tickets were booked I've become more cynical of much pop music after reading a few articles on the stuff by the philosopher Sir Roger Scruton, so I wasn't terribly eager to go. The gates opened at half past six but thanks to my brother, who wanted to get there early to get as close to the stage as possible (which he did), me and him had been queuing outside for a long time before this. And then there was an opening act, the rapper Little Simz, who I think looks a bit like my girlfriend via her eyes and general figure. Then Gorillaz began.
Unfortunately, I found the concert far too loud. The volume not only temporarily deafened me, but also distorted, disfigured, blurred, and obscured the genuinely catchy tracks of the band. That which was once pretty was uglified, and that which was already ugly (e.g. the odd bit of distortion) was amplified into major hideousness. What should have been a collection of fun, catchy numbers was instead a blurred reverberating fuzz of uncomfortable and boring noise. I couldn't understand much of what the rappers were rapping and the singers were singing. That's how loud it was. With my standing ticket I couldn't have sat down, so I had to stand at the back of the Arena as far away from the racket as possible, but still within hearing and viewing distance of the stage, in case I happened to miss out on anything I might have enjoyed. I didn't, for there was nothing to enjoy, apart from the weird faint pleasure of seeing celebrities (in my case the slight satisfaction comes from the fact that I can say “I saw him/her” later, say, in an anecdote, and to make myself feel mildly more important than I am by coming close to someone who actually will go down in history, unlike, in all probability, myself. I get the same enjoyment of being “close to history” by encountering old people. I would love to meet someone who remembers the First World War, for instance). Damon Albarn (obviously), Noel Gallagher, Shaun Ryder, Graham Coxon, Pauline Black, and others, all turned up. However, by the end of the concert the novelty of seeing celebrities had surely worn off as I was by then cursing Mr Albarn for keeping the dull din going for so long.
I do have one or two positive things to say about the show, though. I didn't see much pretentiousness in the performers. They sang, rapped, and/or played their instruments while dancing and fooling around with the music, but they didn't display the arrogance and pomposity all too often visible in modern popular musicians, especially those of the indie variety (thankfully, Gorillaz is not an indie band). The visuals were pretty good; we saw plenty of the cartoon band itself on a screen in the background of the stage. I do wonder, however, if these Gorillaz gigs would be more entertaining if the cartoons were “live” (rather than pre-created music videos), perhaps in a motion capture sort of way. I don't believe they have tried it before but I imagine it would look something like gigs such as this and this, which contain animation made specifically for the event rather than old music videos. What I dislike about these examples, however, is that the real band is nowhere to be seen. Maybe in my ideal Gorillaz concert, the real band would still be visible to the side.
Jehnny Beth stage dived onto my brother, apparently. I bought a bland overpriced hot dog* and some Coca Cola. Now that's about all I have to say on this event.
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It reminds me of those men with deep-seated issues who hire prostitutes but instead of having sex with them ask them to whisper to them or sing to them or give them cuddles or something. One of the Unsullied does that in Game of Thrones.
- Myself (paraphrased, 1998-present), to my girlfriend.
Me and my girlfriend searched “ASMR” up on YouTube and encountered a multitude of weird ASMR videos for lonely men and boys, in which an attractive woman will make pleasant ASMR-triggering sounds, whisper softly, and maybe even roleplay. It seems the men who watch these videos seek not only the ASMR, but also intimacy with women. It appalled me that so many people would enjoy these videos. I felt that such a desire, to be whispered to and roleplayed with (in a non-sexual way) by/with a female stranger, would have been reserved to the very messed-up thirty years ago, to serial killers in films and others who have had troubled childhoods. It reminded me of a scene I watched in an episode of the HBO television series Game of Thrones lately, in which a member of the Unsullied (an army of eunuch slaves, tortured into submission from an early age) goes to a prostitute not to have sex (how could he?), but to have her sing to him. It is later stated that many Unsullied use brothels, probably for the same sort of thing. So, to conclude, this is the type of behaviour I would expect of traumatised eunuchs, horror film serial killers, and powerful businessmen who also enjoy being spanked, among other freaks. It is not the behaviour I would expect of a great many “ordinary” people in this day and age, so to discover that it, in fact, is - well, it was a horror. Like mukbang (and, for the girls, those boring family vlogs. I already knew about Roman Atwood's one but my girlfriend has also introduced me to one other, of an Australian family), these, shall we call them, “non-sexual female intimacy porn” videos, are a tragic symptom of our increasingly atomised and lonely society. I thank God that at least I am not alone, and I wish this blessing on others.
Below are some examples of ★CHRISTMAS-THEMED★ ASMR roleplay videos for you all to enjoy:
By the way, I tried listening to ASMR videos featuring men instead, thinking that they would be less intimate. “It's just you and me” a man sensually whispered down my ear. Not the case.
*Yes, I know the food in the Arena was bound to be overpriced. I did have a bite to eat before entering it but boredom forced me to entertain my taste buds during the concert itself.